Remembering Gauri Lankesh's Last 10 Seconds

Written by Kavita Lankesh | Published on: January 29, 2018

Kavita Lankesh's poem talks about how she finds it difficult to cope with Gauri's death. On the occasion of Gauri Lankesh's birthday we are publishing this touching tribute to the fearless tigress from her loving sister.


gauri Lankesh
Image: Suhel Banerjee


The last 10 seconds

 
Sometimes I feel
You are here...
It’s just one of those hectic days
So you haven’t visited us.
But most times
Reality punches in my gut
And I know you are gone
Forever. 
I churn,
I shiver,
I reel...
I feel like puking but my stomach is empty
Much like everything else
Agonized when awake,
Nightmares in sleep...
As I try to re-live
Your last 10 seconds
That’s all the time it took
To end your voice
The cops tell us
Let me imagine those 10 seconds-
The killer a coward no doubt
hiding behind a helmet
rushes towards you
“Yako? What are you doing magane?
The first shot!
You! Bolimagane!  Who the fuck are you?
Not my comrade,
not my blood,
certainly not my creed!!
You think you got have become big
because your chaddi got longer
And now you wear pants?
Come, end me! Let’s see!!
How dare you!
I am never ending!!
Ten seconds. Three more bullets.
And you were gone.
Did Esha ,Amma or I
Flash through you?
The love, the care, the concern?
Did thoughts of your comrades
Flicker in you?
The same comrades who converted
you from a little chirping sparrow  to
a roaring tigress?
Till the last bullet ripped
and stopped it all...?
You lay there
In a pool of blood.
But have you stopped?
A thousand others continue
Your fight
Here, there, everywhere…
Every drop of your blood
a protest!
With more fervour and vigour…
Confusing me further
If I voice for the voiceless
Like you  
Am I you?
If I am silent...
Am I dead...?

- Kavita Lankesh